What did unicorns ever do to you?
by Love Crazed Moron
Summary: What do you want to be when you grow up? This simple question asked to every single one of us just might be the reason why the Academy is currently burning to the ground... In reponse to Queen Amazing's CONTEST TIME! R&R


**What did unicorns ever do to you?**

_By: Love Crazed Moron_

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><p><strong>WARNING!<strong>: Incredibly OOC characters and non-senseical ramblings. Just a heads-up! ;D

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><p>Burning classrooms, frightened students and a heated battle still ensuing between Natsume and Mikan. And it isn't even ten in the morning… Yep, it's just a typical day here at Gakuen Alice. But then again, how come it seems like it's more destructive than usual? I guess we would have to recount the days events afterall.<p>

You see, tomorrow was supposed to be a special day for the pre-school students of Gakuen Alice. It was career day and it was the day they were asked what they wanted to be. At this point, they didn't need to think if it suited their Alice, and had the freedom to choose whatever or whoever they wanted to be, from being a policeman to being a teacher and a princess to being a garbage collector.

And somehow, this has been ruined and caused the inhabitants of Gakuen Alice their current dilemma…

"Miiii-kaaaaan!" red eyes fuming brighter than usual.

"What do you want you perverted fool?" Mikan snapped. Why did she have to be interrupted when she was in the middle of drawing unicorns?

"What the hell did you teach Youichi?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What were you two doing yesterday while I was away on a mission?"

"I was just reading him fairy tales and helping him figure out what he wanted to be."

"How could a dumb idiot like you teach him anything? His IQ points are at least 100 points higher than yours."

"I thought he only had the IQ of 90? How is it possible for him to be at least 100 levels than mine?" Mikan retorted.

"Yours is at least a negative 10." He scoffed.

"It is not!"

"Prove it!"

"How in the world am I supposed do that? And I refuse to sit another IQ test! All those people are giving me those weird looks as if I couldn't possibly exist."

"Not hard to know why." He chuckled darkly.

"Ugh! You are the worse! I was right, unicorns are better role models for Youichi than a perverted fool like you."

"What did you say Polka? Did you just compare me to freaking unicorns?" Natsume fumed once again, the temperature of the room rising and everyone within a 50 meter radius of the two fainted of heatstroke.

"What's wrong with unicorns?" Mikan huffed indignantly.

"Well, for starters, they're fantastical creatures created to entertain wide eyed dolts like you. Only a sissy like you would see something like unicorns as role models."

"They are not for sissies! They are noble and wise creatures. Make believe but noble!"

"Noble my ass!"

"There's nothing in your ass except a pole stuck up to it!" she glared while wearing a smug expression obviously happy with the snappy comeback she just made.

"Oh yeah?" he dared her, arm open wide in a challenging manner.

"The unicorn is a legendary animal from European folklore that resembles a white horse with a large, pointed, spiralling horn projecting from its forehead commonly described as an extremely wild woodland creature, a symbol of purity and grace, which could only be captured by a pure maiden. You can never be as cool as that!"

"Argh! Why am I even having an argument with this idiot?" he groaned in frustration, trying to hide his surprise about her seemingly encyclopaedic description of the said mythical creature.

"Only an idiot picks a fight with another idiot. Seriously, you complain she's an idiot but you bite the bait all the time." Hotaru came in, a jar containing some crabby substance, with Yuu close behind her, shaking in nervousness.

"Umm… guys… can you please settle down, too many people have been having heatstroke the past two months, and we're in the middle of autumn. The hospital is getting full and a lot are already away on holidays, so please… have, mercy on them." Yuu begged.

That was low Yuu. Can't blame him though. He IS the class representative and it just so happened that the academy's top delinquents ended up in his class. And even more unfortunate of him, he has a money hungry woman as a partner and an extremely unobservant and lazy homeroom teacher. Can things get any worse for him?

Well, this is when Murphy's Law gets into play. 'Anything that can go wrong WILL go wrong.' And here at Gakuen Alice, we all know that EVERYTHING can go wrong. I guess we also now know that Yuu indeed is doomed. Let's just pray that he survives his time here at Gakuen Alice with minimal mental and emotional scars. But for now, let's all take delight in his pain and agony like the good friends and fans we truly are.

Before we get too engrossed with Yuu's agony, we have to get back to the main story. Yes, this is a story and not just random voiceover's babbling.

"I'm sorry Yuu! I'll try to nullify Natsume next time!"

"Pssh... Your alice and your abilities are nowhere as good enough to nullify someone as hot as me. Pun intended."

"I still don't get what those girls see in an egoistic jerk like you. While I'm at it, I never truly understood Sumire, thank god she found Koko actually existed. At least now she's a bit more bearable." Mikan rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Can't you guys get to the main point and just get this fight done and over with? My brother still owes me a meal at Alicia's Restaurant for an eat all you want seafood buffet and we can't go until all the burnt and dehydrated students are done and over with. So if you're going to add more injured students to the pile, please feel free to hurry up." Hotaru reprimanded the couple with a straight face.

Mikan ignored her best friend and turned to glare at Natsume for the nth time that day,"Why did you come here in the first place? I was busy making designs for Youichi's costume for career day tomorrow!"

"There is no way in hell's way am I going to let you make him wear that ridiculous unicorn costume!"

"When I grow up, I want to be a unicorn. So that all the ladies will like me!" Youichi spoke up proudly from out of nowhere. Hand on either side of his waist, chest out and a triumphant look on his face.

"He's a kid, this is going to be his worst embarrassment of his life!" Natsume yelled, a look of panic flashing across his face.

"What would you know?"

Silence.

All eyes were directed towards Natsume. Every single student more curios than the next. Except for a certain money hungry woman, who had a camcorder in one hand, waiting impatiently for the moment when he finally cracks.

Beads of sweat appeared from his forehead despite the fact that the room was considerably cooler than it was haft an hour ago. His eyes wandered from person to person to person, his fingers started to get a little jittery. A little being massive understatement by the way.

And then…

"Ooh alright! I said I wanted to be a unicorn when I grew up in the fourth grade and everyone laughed at me! That's the reason I moved out of Ruka's village and not the fact that the agents of Gakuen Alice were following us! That was just an excuse!" He yelled out. Obviously freaking out.

Silence.

Well, who wouldn't when you just saw THE Natsume Hyuuga freak out like that. Exactly.

And well, I really couldn't be bothered to explain in great detail the chaos that ensued after this for various reasons. One of them concerns a certain raven haired lad who threatened to barbeque me if I did, a money hungry woman blackmailing me and also threatening to sue for she has a documentary based on this on the way so watch out for that one. But it was mainly because it was simply too gruesome, and lets face the facts… I'm an incredibly lazy person after all.

So to summarize everything, the audience, mainly composed of people dumb enough to butt in, got divided into free expression: defending the unicorns everywhere they were marginalized while the latter decided that unicorns were stupid and their existence must be banished from everyone's minds: especially from wide eyed sissy dolts.

And that folks, what I believe, is the reason why Career Day has been forever cancelled at Gakuen Alice. That is, until Natsume and Mikan have finally graduated and went out of the Academy and bring their reign of terror somewhere else. Preferably somewhere deserted and uninhabitable due to radioactive materials buried underneath it.

And for anyone wondering what the hell happened to Yuu, well, let's just say he got student of the year award again and conveniently 'lost' his Alice due to unprecedented stress Mikan and Natsume has caused him for a death defying five years…

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><p><strong>AN**: Well, I honestly don't know what has gotten into me while writing this (most probably my inherent desire to avoid and procrastinate from doing my homework). I hope you enjoyed a bit of randomness there peeps and reviews are loved and treasured! Thanks! :D


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